For many of us the Christmas season means tradition. There is a reliable and familiar beauty when we do the same thing every year…a sort of idealized nostalgia happens.
It could be taking a day to bake Christmas cookies with the ladies and little ones, hosting the annual white elephant party, volunteering at the local shelter, opening up family pajamas Christmas Eve night, or waking up to homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning. These things we do can bring us great comfort and joy. We look forward to them and they can be oh, so good… You know I promote this kind of thing.
However, just like the seasons change… our children grow, people move away, relationships fracture, expectations aren’t met, a loved one dies, and our hearts can break. It’s during these moments that absence can be the biggest presence. Our focus can be on what has changed, rather than what has stayed the same… and sometimes these good things (and even people), can become idols. Oh, can I say ouch.
What do we do in times like these?
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings, for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace and not be ceremonial foods, which are of no value to those devoted to them. -Hebrews 13:8-9
We must come to the radical acceptance that change will occur here on earth. We must also wrap up in a blanket of grace knowing that Jesus will always be the same. Our hearts are to be strengthened by Him, not by any of our traditions. Please hear me that I love traditions, but if our strength is centered in them, we will likely stumble and be sorely disappointed a time or two in life.
Acceptance.
Isn’t that a good word? This literally gives us permission to let go of some things, doesn’t it? It’s in this word we can find joy and a break away from denial and wishful thinking.
Exhale…
When I read the passage above, it gives me peace because I have not baked a single Christmas cookie this year. I’m so serious. Don’t shame me (I’m smiling). That ceremonial food was giving me a false guilt that I wasn’t meant to carry. In reality, this year it would have caused me more stress than joy …it’s happenstance where I am in my juggle of life as a wife, therapist and mom. But, with an extended family full of cooks and bakers, I knew in my left brain there would be plenty of cookies at events. So, the time I would normally take with my girls to do this, we wrapped presents together.
Did my right brain beat me up?
Yep.
“This isn’t who you are, Janelle.”
Says who? Says everyone else or says you?
“Ahhhh, faghetta ’bout it. Jesus isn’t moved by me not making cookies this year.”
Then I gave acceptance a side armed hug and we purchased Pillsbury cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning.
This is a small potatoes example to change in my life and I am certain in many of yours…I’ve had good change and not so good change, but amidst it all I needed grace to keep me moving.
Grace…uncanny forgiveness. For the things, people, gifts, invitations or cards that didn’t come our way this year. For the unmet expectations, hurts, or uncertainties. With grace we can and will get through all of this and experience joy admidst it all because we are strengthed by someone who is our constant.
I pray this reaches those who need it most this holiday season.
He’s got this… you are still His and always will be. Change will happen, it’s promised. But there are things amidst change that do stay the same. He is one of them.
Let us accept the things we cannot change and do the best we can with the things we can. And for crying in the mud, please bring on the self-depreciating sense of humor we need when we don’t meet our own silly expectations. Our imperfections make Him stand out even more…
Today, I am encouraging you to celebrate each Christmas in itself by making it it’s very own each year. There is beauty in this as well as we remember why (and Who) we are celebrating.
Love, love, love going out to you!
MAY your be BLESSEd with a Merry CHRISTmas and a Healthy, Happy New Year.
Bless you too, Charlotte!
Thank you for this, Janelle! I tend to beat myself up sometimes over what I think are unmet expectations, but really the expectations are ones that I’ve mentally set for myself, not ones people have set for me. I’ve been feeling awful lately over the unmade cookies (especially when multiple friends drop off their baked goods at our house!), but what’s funny is that growing up, my family had a “tradition” of just not getting around to baking until after Christmas. So what are we doing this year? Keeping it simple, baking for neighbors/friends after Christmas and making unconventional yet simple recipes (hello, scones and Christmas Crack!) and enjoying every moment of not getting it all done before Christmas! Blessings to you and your family!
Ohhh, Stacey. It’s so true. We sure do set these unrealistic goals for ourselves, don’t we? I love your family’s idea to bake on the “down-low” after Christmas. I always say hello to scones! haha!
Your words hit home to me this year. I have been very emotional this month and more so today leading up to Christmas. It’s been a very hard two years for me. My husband lost his job two years ago and cannot find a field in his field and this month we lost everything. I’ve been sad and crying thinking this year my daughter won’t find any gifts for her under the tree. Gifts are not what Christmas is about, and I forgot that. Thank you for reminding me. Merry Christmas.
Hi Katherine…I am just so sorry to know you’re going through this. Even when we feel like we have lost everything, we haven’t. You guys are going to make it through this…you just are. Isaiah 45:3 comes to my mind “I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” So many things we see in our trials that we never would have otherwise. May 2019 bring you joy and peace. Love to you, Janelle