When I was 12 a neighbor invited me to church with her. I went up to an “alter call” and asked the Lord into my heart. I don’t think I completely knew the commitment I was making at the time…but I knew that the Lord wanted me and I certainly craved His love.
Throughout my teenage years I felt the Lord’s protection and the holy spirit’s convictions and managed to stay on a fairly straight path (praise you God!). But little did I know I had SO much room for growth…I hadn’t grown at all spiritually. I was still that 12 year old little girl in a young woman’s body. After college, I started craving things of this world….
I wanted the degree…the husband….the high powered job…shnazy suits…the Mc mansion…the beautiful children…the fancy car…the spa treatment….success…the envy of my friends…I wanted it ALL.
And guess what? For the most part, God gave it all to me.
Then…..he took it all back for a while and humbled me in a very hard way….My husband lost his job for a year and a half during a hard economic time…bills, phone calls, embarrassment, pride crushed, ugh.
Why? Because as as Hebrews 12:6 says “Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.” He wanted more for me than I wanted for myself. He wanted me to have true happiness that can only come from Him.
It was during this time that I started growing in Christ. I decided to TRULY open my arms and say “Ok, I am done with this world, you are right God! Use me how YOU want to use me and help me excuse myself!!!”
That is when He spoke to me and told me to start cooking for a man with MS. I had a hard time understanding why God wanted me to give to someone when I had nothing extra. But, I submitted to this request….and there began my “meal ministry”. I cooked for Kevin for a year, visited him, and prayed for him….I remember him telling me (as he sat in his wheel chair) “You don’t have to look very far to find a person who has it worse than you do.” God used this man to help ME while I thought I was helping him.
I got hooked….
“God, keep using me please!” I would pray at night. The more I served people the closer I felt to God. The more and more I submitted to His will on my life…the better my marriage got, our financial situation turned completely around, and my spiritual life grew leaps and bounds. God blessed me with a church family, friends, many ministry opportunities, and this blog!
What would I have done if I hadn’t given it to God? I would have continued to desire what only God could give me and would have accepted a subpar world to fulfill my needs.
People think I am crazy that not only do I not make money off of my ministry…it costs me money. But, I am God’s and everything that I have is God’s…and it feels so good and freeing to live life this way. I don’t have to even the score…I just have to submit to Him!!!!
|Me and my sweet hubby bringing in food for the church|